I hope everybody had an enjoyable Christmas holiday. I certainly did. It’s not often that I get Christmas day entirely off from work, but I did. In fact, since the holiday was on Friday, I got three days off, which resulted in quality time with the pups.  

Dear Santa, 

Only in 2020 does Lady Human crush me like a grape in fantasy football. CRUSHED. LIKE. A. GRAPE. 

Please don’t ask me to hang your outdoor Christmas lights this holiday season. I’m not going to do it. No way, no how. I’m keeping both feet on the ground after an incident this week sent me to the emergency room.

I hope everybody had a turkey-filled Thanksgiving. 

Call this the appetizer dish.

A buddy of mine spent last weekend in Las Vegas celebrating his birthday. I’m not sure if he returned home a wealthier man, but he did share an unexpected dinner with a former Super Bowl champion.

Pepper Jack is becoming one stubborn pooch. That is what happens when old age sets in. He is, after all, 91 in human years.

When reading Kevin Cash’s explanation on why he pulled Blake Snell in the sixth inning of Game 6 of the World Series, it reminded me of former Kodiak baseball coach Rick Langfitt. 

The human residents of the Clarkston Zoo have a fondness for crime shows. 

Surprises. I’m not sure how I feel about them. If it is a surprise cookie — preferably peanut butter chocolate chip — waiting for me at work, I’m all in. If it is a surprise left by a dog, I’m all out.

Relaxing in the recliner late Wednesday night with Pepper Jack, Lady Human — lounging in the recliner next to me with Cody on her lap — handed me a Kit Kat. 

I dropped the ball last week, like New England Patriots wide receiver N’Keal Harry fumbling out of the end zone. 

As the alarm went off on my phone, I contemplated remaining in bed. It was 6:30 a.m. on Labor Day, and for those who know me, there is only one 6:30 in the day that I am familiar with, and it’s not the a.m one.

I’ve rediscovered a childhood hobby this summer — golf. 

Sports and animals bring people together. The two are the kindling that ignites conversations between strangers.

Today marks an end of an era at the Kodiak Daily Mirror. 

Pepper Jack has acquired a strange addiction — eating off the kitchen floor. 

With the easing of mandates, I spent a portion of last Saturday playing fungo golf at Baranof Field. 

Cody James — yes, we give middle names to our pets — was at it again Thursday.

For those wondering, Lady Human did not boot me out of the Clarkston Zoo. 

A few weeks ago, on one of my walks home from work, I checked in with Grandma C. 

I survived the first week without live sporting events. 

Well, my job just got a lot easier ... and boring.

At the end of every conversation I had with Joe “Coach” Floyd, he would ask me about my bike. 

I did it. I finally dusted up enough courage to take the plunge. 

The NFL season is over, but football is not. 

I’m all for blizzards, especially the kind served at Dairy Queen, but this week’s storm that paralyzed the city was ridiculous.

Which one of these three statements is true: 

I am a television junkie, and earlier this week, I stumbled upon a show that zoomed into my top 10 — “America’s Top Dog.” 

“HOLY FREEZER STICKS!” 

Santa Claus must have had time to read my letter because the big man delivered, well sort of. 

Dear Santa, 

Two new members were added to the Clarkston Zoo this week — Elmer, the bunny, and Danny, the deer.

No more oatmeal for dinner — the Lady Human of the Clarkston Zoo has returned, and with that comes a variety of meal options. 

It has been a chaotic and tiring week at The Clarkston Zoo. 

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful

I gingerly turned the doorknob of the front door of my mom’s house, trying to be as quiet and sneaky as I could be. 

As you read this, I should be 30,000 miles above ground, sitting on an Alaska Airlines jet headed to Washington state.

Gizmo is in the dog house. 

I had this week’s column figured out, that was until I forgot to cover the event.