It might be shocking news to some, but I do not control the television remote at the Clarkston Zoo — that honor goes to the lady human of the house.

Don’t get me wrong; I watch a lot of sports — A LOT. There is football, baseball, bowling and NASCAR. My addiction is so bad that the other day I was intrigued by adults playing the video game Super Mario Brothers. I watched for at least five minutes as men with bushy beards controlled Mario and Luigi on the screen.  

The lady does draw a line, though. When she sees me watching a Citadel football game, she demands the remote. She tolerates Seattle games, and I thank her for that. 

She prefers the Food Network Channel over ESPN, and I’m OK with that. Who knew food shows could be competitive? “Guy’s Grocery Games,” “Cutthroat Kitchen,” “Chopped” and “Supermarket Showdown” all offer a competitiveness seen on playing fields. By watching these shows, I have discovered that I have the uncanny ability to pick winners based solely on appearance. Too bad that skill has not beefed up the bank account. 

Bottom line is we both spend way too much time in front of the television, which must mean we do not lead exciting lives or that we are aging fast. 

Fall is one of our favorite seasons as all the network shows we watch return to the viewing lineup and fill the TiVo. I’m fascinated with medical dramas. I’m not sure why, but I enjoy hearing doctors say stat as they solve complex cases. I’ve watched so many medical shows that I’m confident that I could perform a tracheotomy. OK. Not really. But seriously, I would like to try sometime.  

I love them all — “The Good Doctor,” “Chicago Med,” “The Resident,” and “New Amsterdam.” My all-time favorite medical show is “House.” For some reason, Hugh Laurie reminds me of former Kodiak coach Marcus Dunbar. Maybe because they look alike. 

Speaking of doctors, NFL starting quarterbacks are having a tough time staying healthy. So far this season Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger, Nick Foles and Trevor Siemian have all suffered injuries. Roethlisberger and Siemian are out for the season.

Cam Newton has missed the Panthers’ past two practices and  let’s not forget Andrew Luck’s surprising retirement a week before the Colts’ first game and the Giants benching Eli Manning in favor of rookie Danny Jones (bonus points if you can name the college he played for). 

The injuries and benching have led to an influx of younger quarterbacks — the favorite at the Clarkston Zoo is the Jaguars Gardner Minshew.

Minshew Mania swept the apartment last year when he was at Washington State University. It’s good to see the rest of the nation latching on to the guy with a killer mustache.

It was bound to happen at some point this season— Gizmo prognosticated better than his human. The pup went 3-2 in Week 2, while I was 2-3. I still hold the season edge with a 6-4 record to his 5-5 mark. 

 

WEEK 3 

NEW ORLEANS (1-1) AT 

SEATTLE (2-0)

The Seahawks are off to their best start since they won the Super Bowl in 2014 and are favorites to stay undefeated against the Brees-less Saints. 

Seattle’s defense will be ready for the Saints’ new quarterback duo of Teddy Bridgewater or Taysom Hill. 

We both went against Seattle last week. Not this week. 

Clarkston: Seahawks

Gizmo: Seahawks 

 

BALTIMORE (2-0) AT 

KANSAS CITY (2-0)

A quarterback showdown awaits us at Arrowhead on Sunday. Lamar Jackson versus Patrick Mahomes. 

Both players are exciting to watch and have combined for 14 touchdowns and no interceptions this season. Mahomes won last year’s game by three points in overtime. 

Clarkston: Chiefs

Gizmo: Ravens 

 

DETROIT (1-0-1) AT

PHILADELPHIA (1-1)

Detroit tight end TJ Hockenson failed to duplicate what he did in his NFL debut in Week 1. I still like the young player from Iowa, and by the end of the season, he will be in the same tight end tier as Zach Ertz, George Kittle and Travis Kelce. 

Ertz, though, will outshine his counterpart in this one. 

Clarkston: Eagles

Gizmo: Eagles

 

LOS ANGELES RAMS (2-0) AT CLEVELAND (1-1)

All is right in Cleveland. The Browns picked up a much-needed win last week on Monday Night Football and this week host the high-flying Rams. 

This is a tough matchup for Baker and Co. 

Clarkston: Rams

Gizmo: Rams

 

CHICAGO (1-1) AT

WASHINGTON (1-1) 

It’s not an intriguing Monday night game, but it’s an important one for two teams that have struggled on offense this season. 

Case Keenum does just enough to fend off Mitchel Trubisky

Clarkston: Redskins

Gizmo: Redskins

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