While taking the garbage out, I’ve been known to stick my head in the dumpster and look around.
You never know what you are going to find buried under bags of trash. Dumpster diving is my new sport — I can only stomach watching marble racing for so long.
Some of the treasures I have brought home include a bag of new Christmas decorations, a package of 200 unopened clothespins, a whiffle ball bat and some sort of espresso gadget that I was going to regift but Lady Human wouldn’t let me.
My all-time favorite find was actually discovered by my good friend Ron Sears — a life-size Frank Thomas cardboard cutout.
The Big Hurt was part of the KDM news staff for several years.
Just this week, Cody — our 7-year-old Japeke — has adopted his dad’s dumpster diving skills.
His first find happened on a walk when he sniffed out a quarter of a sandwich that was tossed in a bush.
I took my eyes off of him for a second, which was long enough for him to snatch up the crusty bread. His eyes were filled with glee, “Look what I found, daddy.”
We have found out that once Cody takes a bite of something, he doesn’t let go — one time, I attempted to grab a chicken bone from his mouth, and he ended up 3-feet off the ground.
With Lady Human yelling at him to drop it, the pup displayed his prize for the remainder of the walk. He didn’t eat the sandwich but instead covered it with gravel when we got home.
Now, he attempts to get the bread every time we pass by the buried treasure.
A few days later, Cody paraded around the living room with a foreign object in his mouth. Not sure what Cody had, I summoned help.
To the displeasure of Lady Human, the pup pulled a used tampon applicator out of the bathroom trash can.
I’m not sure what he thought he was going to do with it, but he sure was proud of himself as he sat next to it on the floor.
Boy did Lady Human’s face get red when I told the story to co-workers. I can only imagine what her face will look like after reading this column.
Cody topped off the week by grabbing a makeup pad out of the same bathroom trash can. This time, he tried to eat the pad but discovered it wasn’t edible. He spit the chewed up pieces to the floor.
We are used to pets digging through the garbage as Gizmo would hide cupcake wrappers and moldy hot dog buns all over the apartment. However, we are not used to a dog being enamored with feminine products.
I’m obliged to give Boss Lady — aka Skip — a shout out this week.
She finally fulfilled my request for an office ping-pong table, which has firmly cemented her in the top 3 of my all-time favorite Daily Mirror co-workers list.
The edition to the KDM lounge couldn’t have come at a better time. With no high school sports to cover, I can improve my table tennis game, which has deteriorated after being crowned the 1996 Kodiak Middle School fourth-period gym ping-pong champion.
And, as my editor pointed out, a ping-pong table is 9 feet, 6 inches long, which makes table tennis the perfect social distancing game.